Garden Etiquette - How To Act When In Another's Garden

One thing I've noticed in recent years (and others haveofficial visiting weed-puller or bug-stomper. Remember
also mentioned in passing) is that there seems to bethat one person's "trash" may be another's "treasure."
more garden visitors who are "out of sorts" and, atWho knows...maybe they wanted that weed
times, downright disrespectful and thoughtless. I("wildflower"?) there, and perhaps that squashed insect
recently overheard a couple of avid gardeners remarkwas a valuable, beneficial type, nurtured and protected
that if they see another tumultuous season like thisby its host. . .the now-offended resident
one, they'll soon be ex-gardeners! One even wishedgardener.Maintain an up-beat, positive, giving, sharing,
she'd designed a "secret" garden into her landscape,and pleasant attitude while visiting another's garden.
set aside only for her and close, trusted friends.True,Even if you see all sorts of terrible things (mistakes,
times like these do seem to fray fragile nerves and stirmisadventures, unfinished tasks, weeds, bugs, diseases,
up some deep frustrations. Polite society, however,stones, snaggly trees and shrubs, pet residues,
clearly requires garden visitors -- out of sorts or not --scattered tools and hoses, odors, etc.), try hard to put
to observe a sort of "code" to at least attempt toa positive spin on even the worst of circumstances.
avoid trampling on another's sensitivities or propertyAvoid insensitive remarks like "Oh, I see you have
rights. Here are a few suggestions to make your visit[some plant or other]; I have one, too, but mine grows
to someone else's garden -- private or public -- moretaller and has better looking leaves and prettier
pleasant, informative, and relaxing while, at the sameflowers." Another real "killer" goes something like,
time, avoiding the ire of its gardener or manager.For"Yeah...a hosta...I've got 25 different varieties in my
parents with youngsters in tow, one of the kindestgarden!"Finally, for you tobacco users, please don't
things you can do is to control your little ones (andgrind out cigarette butts or spit tobacco juice in others'
some which aren't so little, as well). Filled with energygardens...and never light up a cigar there, either! Most
and exuberance, youngsters can do a great deal ofavid gardeners treasure the sanctity, peacefulness
damage as they race around. Advise them to stay onand, hopefully, the freshness and purity of air in their
paths; forbid rock-throwing, flower-picking, andgarden retreats. Nothing invades that refreshing,
branch-tugging; and assist them in keeping theirrejuvenating, and clean micro-environment like the
sometimes cheeky remarks to themselves.Domesticpervasive smell of tobacco smoke -- especially the
pets of visitors have no place wandering around indisagreeable odor of a smoldering cigar. Few things
someone else's garden. Yes, there may be a residentare less pleasant to police up than someone else's
pooch or cat, but that's never a reason to turn yourstomped-in cigar or cigarette butt.And while on the
pet -- even cute little "lap-dogs" -- loose to rip and tear,subject, "field-stripping" a cigarette (an old military trick
dig and chew, or otherwise "soil" the gardenintended to avoid detection by the enemy -- or the drill
environment with their wastes. Leaving Fido (or eveninstructor in boot-camp) is just as bad, if not worse.
worse, big-footed Boomer) home is always the safestNot too many people realize that virtually every shred
bet. Your friends will most certainly appreciate theof processed tobacco is a potential source of a
kindness. . .not to mention your deeply appreciateddeadly agricultural organism known as TSWV (tomato
respect for their "turf."Stepping off obvious paths to gospotted wilt virus). The malady can wreak havoc
plodding around in the cultivated soil of a friend'samong many different varieties in a once-healthy
garden is definitely out! You may do that in your owngarden, causing stunting of plants and a discolored
garden, but it's not going to be appreciated by most ofmosaic pattern on the leaves, accompanied by
your friends...and, if you persist, may get you anunsightly leaf distortion (puckering). Infected plants must
invitation to leave. (Much of this annoying and nowbe destroyed -- there is no cure, only prevention. So, if
near-universal habit of modern gardeners originatedyou're a smoker, the next time you visit a friend's (or
with the advent of television. Turn on any gardeningpublic) garden, whip out a stick of chewing gum...leave
program and see "experts" in total disregard for thethe smokes in your pocket.It all boils down to this: treat
structure of soil as they tromp straight into a cultivatedothers, their gardens -- and their gardening efforts --
bed to achieve a better camera angle.)Don't pickwith the same kind of respect, gentle honesty, and
flowers, take seeds, or snip or pinch cuttings unlesscaring with which you'd like to be treated. Where have
you've been invited to. Yes, I've seen it in my gardenI heard that before?Fred Davis is a Master Gardener,
and the gardens of others. Often, offenders will glanceMaster Composter, correspondent, lecturer, co-owner
around first to see if they're being observed; then snip!operator of a popular 18-year-old perennial nursery in
or snatch!, and into a pocket or purse it goes.south-central Maine, and author of "Keys To The
Seed-snatchers, blossom-pickers, and cutting-crooksGarden Gate...Saying Some Things That Need To Be
are rarely invited back.Don't appoint yourself as theSaid.