| I was writing a chapter for a book the other | | | | this time I pulled out my pipe and tobacco |
| night when a visual photograph of how I | | | | when Frank went for his. It was the most |
| learned the value of relationships in | | | | animation I had seen from the man in months. |
| business came flooding into my mind. I | | | | He said, "I didn't know you smoked a pipe." I |
| couldn't help but smile at the memory and I | | | | told him, "I hadn't been for long." And, then |
| thought I'd briefly share it with you here. | | | | I asked him about the tobacco I had picked |
| | | | out and if he liked it. He went out to tell |
| I was a brand new Major Account Sales | | | | me more about tobacco and pipes than anyone, |
| Executive for 3M Company. I had already been | | | | in my mind, would want to ever know - over |
| with the company a couple of years and had | | | | the next 2 hours! It turned out he blended |
| broken all the sales records for people in my | | | | his own tobacco and he told me mine was junk |
| position. So, I was promoted and expected to | | | | with perfume added to make it smell good. He |
| now call on major accounts. However, I was | | | | had me dump it and gave me some of his |
| primarily assigned accounts where we had | | | | private blend. And, so we smoked pipes and we |
| never had any business which meant that I had | | | | talked and we got to know each other. |
| to go out and find new customers - only in | | | | |
| larger companies with more gatekeepers and | | | | Over the next few months we found out we had |
| bureaucracy. | | | | a lot more in common than we did in |
| | | | differences. It turned out we had both grown |
| One of the accounts I was expected to "open" | | | | up in the same little Ohio town that I had |
| was a steel company headquartered near my | | | | left years before but he had lived there his |
| home town. It turned out there was one man | | | | whole life. When we started comparing notes |
| whose primary job was to manage the copier | | | | we found out we knew a lot of the same people |
| equipment and supply program for the entire | | | | and that my younger brother had dated his |
| country. His name was Frank. Did you ever | | | | daughter for a while. (I was worried when I |
| meet someone and instantly know there was | | | | heard that but it turned out fine.) We |
| going to be mutual loathing between the two | | | | started meeting for lunch. He always had |
| of you? That was Frank and I. And, it took us | | | | lunch at his desk so on the days we had a |
| both about 10 seconds to make our | | | | meeting scheduled, he packed a sandwich for |
| determination. | | | | me. One day down the road, after a few pipes, |
| | | | sandwiches and meetings, Frank said something |
| To me, Frank was someone who plods though | | | | like, and "I guess we ought to talk about |
| life all wrapped up in habit, routine and | | | | copiers." And, so we talked and he bought. I |
| insignificant details. And, since I was very | | | | finished the year as one of the Top Ten |
| driven (probably called Type A at the time); | | | | Ranked Sales Executives in the United States |
| I found everything Frank did to be | | | | for 3M. Frank and his companies business was |
| frustrating. I would ask him a question and | | | | one of the major factors. |
| I'd wait for the answer. And, I'd wait. Frank | | | | |
| would usually pull a pipe out of a holster he | | | | It's all about the relationship. I had |
| carried on his belt and begin the process of | | | | figured out that if I wanted to communicate |
| filling and lighting it. Since that took at | | | | with Frank and have any kind of business |
| least 5 minutes, I was on to the next | | | | relationship, which was the whole idea, I was |
| question since I assumed he forgot the first | | | | going to have to learn how to communicate |
| one. And, just about the time I was on my | | | | with him the way he was comfortable. Talking |
| fourth or fifth question without an answer, | | | | at a 1,000 words a minute and interrogating |
| Frank would respond to the first question | | | | him before he liked and trusted me was never |
| which led to more frustration and loathing | | | | going to work with Frank. It isn't going to |
| for the man. And, so it went each time I paid | | | | work very often with any of your clients |
| a call on Frank. I was getting nowhere and I | | | | either. |
| dreaded having to go see him. | | | | |
| | | | The next time you're having a problem |
| Then one day, I stopped at a drug store near | | | | establishing a relationship with someone, |
| his office. This was back when I smoked and I | | | | think about Frank and pipe smoking. Find some |
| was going to get a pack of cigarettes. While | | | | common ground. Focus on them not your |
| at the cash register, I saw a display of corn | | | | services or products. Don't interrogate |
| cob pipes. They were inexpensive so I picked | | | | people. Learn to match the pace and tone of |
| one out and then picked out a bag of pipe | | | | their speech. If they speak slowly softly and |
| tobacco that looked familiar to me. I stuck | | | | you speak fast and loudly - slow down and |
| them in my suit pockets and made a resolution | | | | lower the volume. Put them at ease and get |
| that when Frank went to light up, I'd do the | | | | them talking about themselves and things of |
| same. Maybe if we had pipe smoking in common | | | | commonality. Most people like to talk about |
| he'd find me more acceptable. | | | | what they do in their spare time and their |
| | | | families. People have to "buy you" before |
| And, so the meeting began as before. Only, | | | | they buy anything from you. |