| I was writing a chapter for a book the other night | | | | his. It was the most animation I had seen from the man |
| when a visual photograph of how I learned the value | | | | in months. He said, "I didn't know you smoked a pipe." I |
| of relationships in business came flooding into my mind. | | | | told him, "I hadn't been for long." And, then I asked him |
| I couldn't help but smile at the memory and I thought I'd | | | | about the tobacco I had picked out and if he liked it. He |
| briefly share it with you here. | | | | went out to tell me more about tobacco and pipes |
| I was a brand new Major Account Sales Executive | | | | than anyone, in my mind, would want to ever know - |
| for 3M Company. I had already been with the | | | | over the next 2 hours! It turned out he blended his own |
| company a couple of years and had broken all the | | | | tobacco and he told me mine was junk with perfume |
| sales records for people in my position. So, I was | | | | added to make it smell good. He had me dump it and |
| promoted and expected to now call on major | | | | gave me some of his private blend. And, so we |
| accounts. However, I was primarily assigned accounts | | | | smoked pipes and we talked and we got to know |
| where we had never had any business which meant | | | | each other. |
| that I had to go out and find new customers - only in | | | | Over the next few months we found out we had a lot |
| larger companies with more gatekeepers and | | | | more in common than we did in differences. It turned |
| bureaucracy. | | | | out we had both grown up in the same little Ohio town |
| One of the accounts I was expected to "open" was a | | | | that I had left years before but he had lived there his |
| steel company headquartered near my home town. It | | | | whole life. When we started comparing notes we |
| turned out there was one man whose primary job | | | | found out we knew a lot of the same people and that |
| was to manage the copier equipment and supply | | | | my younger brother had dated his daughter for a |
| program for the entire country. His name was Frank. | | | | while. (I was worried when I heard that but it turned out |
| Did you ever meet someone and instantly know there | | | | fine.) We started meeting for lunch. He always had |
| was going to be mutual loathing between the two of | | | | lunch at his desk so on the days we had a meeting |
| you? That was Frank and I. And, it took us both about | | | | scheduled, he packed a sandwich for me. One day |
| 10 seconds to make our determination. | | | | down the road, after a few pipes, sandwiches and |
| To me, Frank was someone who plods though life all | | | | meetings, Frank said something like, and "I guess we |
| wrapped up in habit, routine and insignificant details. | | | | ought to talk about copiers." And, so we talked and he |
| And, since I was very driven (probably called Type A | | | | bought. I finished the year as one of the Top Ten |
| at the time); I found everything Frank did to be | | | | Ranked Sales Executives in the United States for 3M. |
| frustrating. I would ask him a question and I'd wait for | | | | Frank and his companies business was one of the |
| the answer. And, I'd wait. Frank would usually pull a | | | | major factors. |
| pipe out of a holster he carried on his belt and begin | | | | It's all about the relationship. I had figured out that if I |
| the process of filling and lighting it. Since that took at | | | | wanted to communicate with Frank and have any kind |
| least 5 minutes, I was on to the next question since I | | | | of business relationship, which was the whole idea, I |
| assumed he forgot the first one. And, just about the | | | | was going to have to learn how to communicate with |
| time I was on my fourth or fifth question without an | | | | him the way he was comfortable. Talking at a 1,000 |
| answer, Frank would respond to the first question | | | | words a minute and interrogating him before he liked |
| which led to more frustration and loathing for the man. | | | | and trusted me was never going to work with Frank. It |
| And, so it went each time I paid a call on Frank. I was | | | | isn't going to work very often with any of your clients |
| getting nowhere and I dreaded having to go see him. | | | | either. |
| Then one day, I stopped at a drug store near his | | | | The next time you're having a problem establishing a |
| office. This was back when I smoked and I was going | | | | relationship with someone, think about Frank and pipe |
| to get a pack of cigarettes. While at the cash register, | | | | smoking. Find some common ground. Focus on them |
| I saw a display of corn cob pipes. They were | | | | not your services or products. Don't interrogate people. |
| inexpensive so I picked one out and then picked out a | | | | Learn to match the pace and tone of their speech. If |
| bag of pipe tobacco that looked familiar to me. I stuck | | | | they speak slowly softly and you speak fast and |
| them in my suit pockets and made a resolution that | | | | loudly - slow down and lower the volume. Put them at |
| when Frank went to light up, I'd do the same. Maybe if | | | | ease and get them talking about themselves and |
| we had pipe smoking in common he'd find me more | | | | things of commonality. Most people like to talk about |
| acceptable. | | | | what they do in their spare time and their families. |
| And, so the meeting began as before. Only, this time I | | | | People have to "buy you" before they buy anything |
| pulled out my pipe and tobacco when Frank went for | | | | from you. |