| Everyone knows that a cigarette can be great social | | | | deep down in my lungs. I thought I was terribly clever, |
| leveller. | | | | managing to get on the same table with the directors |
| By that I mean that in a corporation, when the | | | | that smoked and having a good laugh with them. |
| smokers nip outside for a communal cigarette, a | | | | What's that? Smoking is the path to greatness? Gives |
| Director can talk to a subordinate in a much more | | | | you instant access to the Board of Directors and |
| familiar way than they would talk to each other in any | | | | allows you to forge an instant meteoric rise to the |
| other business situation. | | | | Board? |
| I am guilty of deliberately doing this myself in order to | | | | Not quite. I was of course completely fooling myself. |
| get in with top management. I remember some time | | | | Whilst I was convinced that I was reeling in the |
| ago I was at my consultancy company's big | | | | attentions of the most important people in the |
| get-togethers. It was one of those two day events | | | | company, I should have taken the time to study who |
| where we got to drive aqua-buggies around a few | | | | was at the other end of the long dining table and what |
| fields, shoot bow and arrows around in a forest and | | | | they were doing. |
| generally act like 6 years olds for a day. All in the | | | | The guys I were smoking cigars with were the 'old |
| name of Leadership and Team Building. You know the | | | | guard' of the company. All over 55 years old, probably |
| kind of thing. | | | | close to retirement, and enjoying giving this young buck |
| The problem was, the Directors and Senior | | | | (me) some old war stories about hostile takeover bids. |
| Management themselves didn't really get stuck into the | | | | The real deal going down that night was on the same |
| Outdoor Activities as much as every else. I don't think | | | | table, but was at the opposite end where the dynamic |
| it was because they didn't see the point (we couldn't | | | | new Director was explaining his vision to his |
| either and did it anyway). I think they didn't really want | | | | forward-thinking colleagues. They were, I'm sure, very |
| to let go and make fools of themselves in front of | | | | glad that the old geezers were out of their way in their |
| everyone else. I could also see that many of my other | | | | smoking circle, and not at their end to pour any cold |
| colleagues were keen to get to know the Directors | | | | water over some of their bold new proposals. |
| too, but couldn't see a way into their inner circle. | | | | To cut a long story short, I believed that I could get |
| Where am I going with this? | | | | associated quickly with people using smoking as a |
| Well, I took the quick route to establishing rapport | | | | prop. I was right, you can. The only problem is that the |
| quickly by having a cigar with some of the directors | | | | kind of people you'll get associated with are probably |
| once the dinner as finished. As I took a massive breath | | | | not the guys you need to associate with, as they'll |
| of the cigar, I smiled genially to my new best friends, | | | | probably be on their way down, or on their way out. |
| and ignored the burning in my mouth and protestations | | | | |