| Upon mention of Florida, an outsider will immediately | | | | conjured fiction from the writers of "the cable guy", but |
| envision gleaming, voluptuous youthful bodies, strewn | | | | there actually is a 'medieval times - dinner and |
| across a white sand beach, or rollerbladers, gliding | | | | tournament', where people watch jousting matches |
| effortlessly along beachfront catwalks. Don't be fooled, | | | | between insane macho men with an inclination for |
| the place is filled with types that involve themselves in | | | | agony. The Ripley's believe it or not museum is another |
| every kind of questionable pastime. It is after all | | | | "attraction", although many will be seen fleeing in the |
| America, the land of the free, or the land of the | | | | other direction once they've witnessed the horrors |
| nutcracker whom will craft a career from any bizarre | | | | within. Stop by the Salvador Dali museum - that is if |
| niche vocation, even if it involves throwing on a full suit | | | | you appreciate staring at obscure paintings until |
| of medieval armour, and swinging a mace at someone | | | | lightheaded. Those who believe they should have been |
| on a horse. | | | | born with gills, be sure to visit Wet & wild, a place |
| Not to worry though, there are plenty pursuits worthy | | | | where your kids can slide down a watery half pipe. 'A |
| of any individual who is bored enough to leave their | | | | world of Orchids': this sounds like it could be interesting, |
| hometown to come in search of so called greener | | | | as orchids strange shapes explain in a Darwinian |
| pastures - well, the pastures are quite green, but don't | | | | fashion how flowers evolve to con insects into |
| let that hinder my deconstructive oratory. So do not | | | | pollinating them, if you're a Christian who doesn't |
| despair, I have thrown together a list of things you've | | | | understand evolution theory, don't bother to go. One |
| told yourself you might enjoy, if you just got out once | | | | must not ever forget the grand and wonderful |
| in a blue moon. | | | | Disneyland, Whom we can thank for perpetuating the |
| If ever in Central Florida, a must is to visit the west | | | | exhibition of cutesy animated buffoons, who seem to |
| coast park, Busch Gardens/Tampa Bay. They've | | | | be designed to annoy mankind for an unforeseen |
| mentioned a combination of exhilarating rides and | | | | eternity. |
| zoological habitats. Gatorland cannot be left out, as it is | | | | So, is this enough to go on, enough opportunity to |
| the "Gator capital" of the world. There is Green | | | | prove that heavily sunburned skin is ok if you could |
| Meadows farm - for anyone who necessitates milking | | | | bring back photo's to magnetize to your refrigerator |
| cows on the standard family outing. Don't miss the | | | | and bore your family with? Ok then I can stop my |
| Kennedy space center if you have fantasies about | | | | groundless slander of a Perfectly Beautiful Holiday |
| space travel and aliens and generally fit into the | | | | Destination. |
| science fiction nerd class of society. I thought it was | | | | |