| I was introduced to alternative healing in a very | | | | not remember the specific titles of the books, but I do |
| alternative way. I had a vision. In my vision an old Indian | | | | remember feeling an uncontrollable urge to ask the |
| woman approached me. When I asked who she was, | | | | sales woman if she knew anything about visions. She |
| she replied: | | | | did not, but offered me the name of a woman who |
| I am you, I am your mother, I am your sister, I am your | | | | might help. I remember the excitement-the bolt of |
| grandmother, I am the Earth. | | | | energy-that ran through me as she handed me a |
| She had gray hair pulled back tightly in a bun, and her | | | | business card with the woman's name and phone |
| skin was wrinkled and weathered by life. She was | | | | number written on the back. I called immediately when I |
| wrapped in a wool blanket and smoking a pipe. She | | | | returned to Portland. |
| asked if I wanted to join in the sisterhood, but warned | | | | The woman referred to herself as a channel, and |
| me that my life would be forever changed. I was | | | | claimed that she connected with the client's guardian |
| doubtful, but kept hearing the word "trust" in the | | | | spirits, or angels, for guidance. She told me over the |
| background. I nodded my head and spoke the word | | | | phone that she felt my own guardian spirits could help |
| yes. | | | | me understand my vision. I caught my breath. The |
| When we finished smoking the pipe, she spoke again. | | | | whole concept of guardian spirits was completely |
| "Your guidance will be provided. Your medicine that | | | | foreign to me. I had been to psychics in the past, but I |
| you carry is North, Wisdom, Healing, and Love. Begin at | | | | had never experienced anyone who claimed to |
| this time to start reading and learn to understand the | | | | channel. I had little idea what the word channel meant |
| Ways." | | | | or what I had gotten myself into. Yet still I was curious |
| Looking back on this experience, I see the meaning of | | | | and felt innately that this was the right choice. I drove |
| the vision with clarity and understand fully the intent of | | | | to her house. |
| the visitation, but at the time I was left perplexed and | | | | From that point on everything changed. Due to this |
| wondering. I had had no exposure to any indigenous | | | | shift in my awareness and my willingness to open to |
| teachings. I did not know what sisterhood meant. I did | | | | new possibilities, I became exposed to the people, |
| not know anything about the pipe ceremony; I did not | | | | training, and concepts that completely remolded my life |
| even know that it was traditional for Indians to smoke | | | | and my profession. Each shift has been a step along |
| pipes. I had no idea what the word "medicine" meant | | | | the divine path of my development and my |
| except as some combination of chemical elements to | | | | understanding of how we all can heal. |
| take when you are sick. I was engulfed in the mystery | | | | Since the original vision, I have had numerous additional |
| of the vision, but confused as to its meaning. Why had | | | | spiritual experiences. I began to reorder my life, renew |
| I had a vision? What did it mean? What, if anything, | | | | my thinking, and interlace my knowledge of psychology |
| was I supposed to do with these strange images that | | | | with elements of spirituality and actual teachings from |
| had invaded my consciousness? | | | | the spiritual realm. As I integrated these experiences |
| Even to start reading about the Ways presented a | | | | into my own consciousness, I became acutely aware |
| mystery. What were the Ways? Where would I find | | | | that my experiences were not only for me but were |
| readings that would teach me the Ways? I was | | | | also to be used as teachings for others. The teachings |
| involved in psychology in a very traditional way; I knew | | | | and experiences hold universal messages, or basic |
| no other way. I was active at the time in the Methodist | | | | truths, that need to be shared. |
| Church. In fact, I was considering studying for a | | | | As I observe clients moving through their personal |
| doctorate in theology and perhaps pursuing a ministry. | | | | journeys from head to heart, two main themes |
| This vision was not at all a part of my existing reality | | | | emerge again and again-the need for self-awareness |
| system; it left me completely baffled. However, my | | | | and the need for redefining self. The first is a need for |
| love for God was so great that I honored the | | | | awareness of their own intrinsic worth. Spirit is |
| experience. I reminded myself of the many stories in | | | | continually providing evidence that God not only loves, |
| the Bible where visions had occurred with wondrous | | | | but also values each being beyond all imagination. In the |
| messages accompanying them. I believed that this | | | | process of becoming yourself, you become open to |
| vision had come to me for a purpose I did not yet | | | | this reality. The second need is for redefining self in |
| understand; however, for me to fully honor this spiritual | | | | terms of this unconditional love. It is often difficult for |
| visit, I needed to seek greater understanding. Thus | | | | the mind to grasp the meaning of a love with no |
| began my voyage of discovery. It would prove to alter | | | | conditions, but the heart is capable. Unconditional love is |
| my very existence, and it is a voyage I continue to this | | | | not based on what you do, how hard you try, whether |
| day. The wonder of it has proven to be in the journey | | | | you are successful, or even if you are a "good" |
| itself, not in any final destination. | | | | person. There is nothing you could do to not be loved. |
| I committed to joining the sisterhood, whatever that | | | | In the journey from the head to the heart, one comes |
| was. I had made a contract with the vision, and I would | | | | to understand this type of love and apply it to self. |
| keep my commitment. I just had no idea what to do or | | | | When you truly understand the unconditional love from |
| where to start. I felt that I needed guidance, but there | | | | God, you move closer to being able to love yourself |
| was no one in my network of friends with that kind of | | | | unconditionally. Your complete self-acceptance |
| knowledge, and only one with whom I was | | | | replaces prior doubts, disappointments, and regrets. All |
| comfortable even mentioning the experience. It took | | | | of life's "should have," "would have," and "could have" |
| one year before I found anyone who could help me | | | | feelings dissipate in a newfound awareness of one's |
| understand what it meant. | | | | own immense worth in the eyes of God. Through my |
| I had moved with my family from Dallas to Portland. | | | | own experiences-my own head-to-heart journey-I |
| This move created whole-sale changes in my life: a | | | | have found that healing and the restoration of one's |
| new job, new community, new church, and new | | | | wholeness can be complete. Answers to the |
| friends. I did not know at the time, but I understand | | | | questions of life's mysteries-what is life all about, why |
| now, that this move was part of a major shift that | | | | do people become so wounded, how do people heal, |
| would lead to a reordering of my life. | | | | why does it take so long for some to heal, why aren't |
| Shortly after the move, I was at the Oregon coast | | | | people happy, and why do so many people stay |
| with my husband, who was attending a convention. He | | | | entrenched in the past instead of alive in the present |
| burst into our hotel room saying, "Jan, come down to | | | | moment-all can be answered. The beauty of the |
| the vendor displays with me and meet this person | | | | answers is that they bring wholeness, understanding, |
| who has a booth with some very unusual books. I think | | | | happiness, and new beginnings for the people who |
| you will be intrigued." | | | | employ them. What I have learned on this divine path is |
| I followed him down and browsed through the various | | | | that life is to be enjoyed, and being whole feels |
| books. They addressed a wide range of spiritual | | | | wonderful! |
| matters, many from nontraditional perspectives. I do | | | | |